Bunny Heaven

So, you’d think I could get through a day or two without some craziness befalling me, but it appears it was not meant to be. So, let me just provide a brief description of the last 24 hours of my life. It all began yesterday afternoon when there was a dog running loose in my neighborhood. The one thing I haven’t lost since having children is my crazy tendency to pick up every stray I can find. So, I figured I would take Joey for a walk and catch the dog and return him to his home before he was run down by one of the crazy teenagers (could I sound more like a crabby old bag – I might as well say “whippersnapper”?) or cut through drivers in our neighborhood. Unfortunately, as we were walking over to the next street where he was, we discovered that one of the neighborhood bunnies had not been so lucky. I didn’t even notice it until we were basically on top of it because I was too busy answering Joey’s incessant questioning about EVERYTHING around us. So Joey points at the very dead bunny and asks “Mommy, what’s wrong with that bunny?” “Why he laying there like that?” I pick him up and move him away from said former bunny and try to explain that the bunny has died because he was hit by a car. This led to basically constant questioning for the REST of the night, a 2nd walk by the bunny today to see if someone had helped it yet and more interrogation. To try and keep this email to a reasonable length, I will provide just sample of the ongoing dead bunny discussion that I have engaged in since yesterday…

Joey: “Why we helping the doggie and not the bunny?”
Me: Because it’s too late to help the bunny

Joey: Is the bunny sad?
Me: Yes, the bunny was sad, but now he’s happy because he’s in a better place

Joey: Where is the bunny? Is he hurt?Me: The bunny is in bunny heaven and he’s not hurt anymore.

Joey: What’s that pink stuff on the bunny?
Me: That’s where the bunny got hurt

Joey: Oh, I worried about that bunny. Is someone coming to help him?

And on, and on, and on…. In addition to questioning me, my mother and Joe pretty much incessantly weren’t enough, Joey informed the contractors building us a new deck, the neighbors and a delivery man that the bunny was dead and we were sad –I’m sure they were thrilled. I guess I should be thankful that I didn’t have to bring home the dead bunny and hold a funeral in my back yard…

To add my joyful dead bunny day, I must now turn to my usual favorite subject – poo – yes, sorry to do this to you all again, but it has reared its ugly head (or bottom) once again. I will also try to keep this brief… Joey is living in fear of the potty these days and is therefore holding things in. It’s bad enough when he doesn’t do this, so you can only imagine what happens when he holds it for two days. This afternoon he complains that his stomach hurts and then I can’t get him down for a nap. Just when I think the day can’t get much worse, he announces that he has to go and I ask if he would like to use the potty. He replies that no, he would prefer to hide under the dining room table. I am instructed to wait in the kitchen (but to not go into the living room for some unknown reason). I keep asking him if he’s ready for a diaper change and he keeps saying “not yet” and continues squatting under the table. After a few minutes I hear him start to emerge and I walk out just in time to see him AGAIN with his hands IN HIS PANTS removing poo. Apparently he learned NOTHING from the incident two days ago. He then proceeds to try to run away and wipes his hand on the china cabinet… yes, I thought cleaning off the wall was bad enough, I never saw the china cabinet coming. Long story short, I wrestled him to the ground in the kitchen while he screams that he doesn’t want me to wipe his “paws” (thanks to Joe for saying balls in front of him). I end up stripping him down and throwing him in the tub – an hour of time was spent getting things cleaned up and laundered. Afterward, I got to enjoy several hours of crabby, un-napped two year old while Joe worked late today. By 4 p.m. the mommy juice was flowing... by 8 p.m. I was considering shooting myself.