Karma Got Me!

So this morning I log on to Facebook and laugh at my friend Leslye's entry that she "now knows firsthand that one of the most dreaded sentences to hear is, "and then there was a biiiiig poopy and then the poopy was in my shoes..."

I think to myself that this is something Joey would have done to do to me pre-potty training and then post some snarky comment suggesting that she be glad it wasn't used as finger-paint and now that Joey is potty trained we don't have these problems anymore. Oh how Karma bit me in the ass today...

The day began innocently enough with in an attempt to wear out my children with a visit to Monkey Joe's (big bounce house place). Since Abby has decided she's a big girl now and isn't content to stay in the toddler section this unfortunately means that Mommy has to climb around in these things, go up and down the ladders, slides, etc. Let me tell you just how attractive I'm sure that looks - me with my saggy jeans, spare tire middle and bad hair toting two small children up bouncy house ladders.... thank god there are no mirrors... nothing like feeling your flab bouncing as you head down the big bouncy house slide!!!

So, after a whiny drive home and lunch I make a vain attempt to try to get Abby down for a nap while simultaneously meeting all Joey's 1000 needs a minute "Mommy, play Mario Cart", "Mommy I need a snack", "Mommy, I'm thirsty", "Mommy, I NEEEEEEEEEED you". However, Abby is starting to show her stubborn hard-headed streak more and more. Up until this week she's been really great about going to bed and taking naps -- I assumed this was my well-earned payback for 15+ months of not sleeping through the night. Now she's determined that she doesn't WANT to nap. So, I put her down anyway and after 20 straight minutes of howling we go in there and she's standing in her crib with a completely defiant P.O.'d look on her face and she'd thrown all of her blankets, stuffed animals, pillow, etc AND her shirt out of her crib. Defeated, I get her out of her crib and take her down for yet ANOTHER snack -- she promptly falls asleep in her high chair.

I decide to take this opportunity to make a quick Target run to buy eggs for their preschool Easter Egg Hunt. I sneak out of the house and spend a glorious hour child free in Target -- picking out cat food from the clearance section has never seemed so wonderful! I drive home and open the door and quickly learn that I shouldn't have come back. Joey comes barreling out of the downstairs bathroom and proudly announces that he is REALLY a big boy now because not only did he poopy on the potty, but he WIPED HIMSELF TOO!!! Happy Happy Joy Joy -- or so it seems. My mother fills me in that he's been in there for a LONG time and wouldn't let her come in to help him. Eventually he asked for a 2nd pair of underwear (don't ask) and came out -- however, when he flushed the toilet it was clogged. Now, I have to admit that my boy has already clogged a potty or two (once at the neighbors -- a proud moment for us!), so I grab the plunger and think OK, I can handle this. However, as I plunge and then foolishly flush again, I notice that the toilet paper roll is empty -- then, in increasing horror I watch the toilet begin to overflow on to the hardwood floor at the same time it occurs to me that there was close to a new roll in there this morning..... Yes, Joey wiped himself, but he did SUCH A GOOD JOB, that it apparently required 3/4 of a roll of toilet paper. So, I spend the next hour and a half cleaning up the bathroom, disinfecting everything in sight, doing a load of "sanitary" laundry and attempting to keep little hands and feet out of the poopy water mess. Joe arrives home in time to ask me if I know how to use a plunger -- I mean I MUST have done something wrong if the toilet overflowed right?? I shoot daggers of death at him and he goes up stairs to congratulate Joey on his new skill and suggest that he ask for some adult supervision with toilet paper dispensing in the future.

I then handle a messy whiny dinner, clean the kitchen, bath the children, deal with the preggo cat and my constipated dog and now I am heading to bed. I love my life.... thank god the fridge is well stocked with beer.